, , ,

“I’m here as a representative of the Social Services department as someone on the inside who can contact other agencies and chase things up on your behalf. My colleague here is a psychiatric nurse working for the crisis team who from now on will be able to deal exclusively with your case. We have 24hr contact for any future emergencies should you need help. Next time you feel the panic beginning and your control is being taken from you, there is someone there to help bring you back.”

SoSo to Yargo

“What brought me into your system initially was that I seemed to develop some kind of ‘off’ switch when emotions are too strong – despite any intellectual efforts – I go through a kind of blackout where all I see are a few still images from around me then when I calm down the place is in turmoil.”

“Yes it’s classic ‘panic disorder’.”

Consaught with Yargo

“What was the outcome of the psychologist studies?”

“Am I the product of my family history, or is it hardwired – like Aspergers?”

“And what was the conclusion?”

“Me with my brain in a family like this couldn’t produce an outcome that anyone could be surprised about.”

Styptica with Yargo

“How old were you?”

“For what?”

“When you realised that there was no one any where that you trusted enough to talk to?”

“Mid-teens. I think.”

Consaught with Yargo

“Well yes, I think so. My brain still makes big demands and I just can’t stop. Now that I’ve had chance to consolidate my own time. I have to keep trying, else it was just pointless fighting for all these years. So long as I’m careful to stay well away from many people, and anyway the internet is superb for that. Now that I’ve taken charge of finding out what’s really wrong with me, I might be able to start again, so long as it’s on my terms. That’s partly why I’m here, to get a kind of official statement about what expectations are pointless – so I can actually improve things myself.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

“Well maybe. Have to start by learning to stay away from dangerous people. Have to sort out this ‘shut down’ that’s developed.”

Styptica with Somchai

“I know that so many still think Asperger’s is a form of mental illness. They seem to struggle when it’s explained why it isn’t. But what they are thinking of is the sort of stuff that comes from being Aspergers in THIS society – that’s why so many of us have all sorts of psychiatric difficulties. You can’t spend your whole life struggling to live in an alien world and not end up with damage.”

Somchai to Stypticum

On the climb to yourself, be wary of the many broken and false steps that you will encounter. Look out for the treacherous hand that may be proffered. As a walking time-bomb you need to walk – differently.




Arkay InLine