“Why did you write ‘stubborn’ on your list of symptoms?”
“Better than anything, it points to theYark’s lack of comprehension in these things.”
“In what way?”
“TheYark understands by feeling as a matter of course. TheYark’s ‘stubborn’ has to involve an emotional content, a resistance, a determination to obstruct. So what it was looking at was totally incomprehensible to it. How was theYark going to understand a complete lack of emotional requirement? I even explained it, more than once, but I was met with repeated incomprehension.
Show me where my justification is faulty, show me something I have missed, show me something new – and BANG, instant change.”
Yargo to Styptica
“Just imagine that you knew that behind every curtain, behind every window, there were eyes watching. All those people watching your every move, communicating with each other and recording what you do. And, not only that, there are cameras in your house, and microphones too, so there is nowhere you are not studied. They even have public places bugged. Like it was a conspiracy. A life long conspiracy.”
“You think there is a conspiracy against you?”
“No. It ‘feels’ like they are watching, and always have been. But I know they are not there. That is just what it feels like to be me. Nothing special – everyone is being watched and I have no choice but to live within their experiment. It is like I live on a stage and every aspect of my life is a performance. There is nothing I can do about it. That is what it ‘feels’ like anyway.”
“How long have you felt this?”
“Well forever. Since I can remember. I always thought that it was the same for everyone. I have to try so hard to hide.”
Somchai to Stypticum
All and each together.
Share and share alike.
An emotion and a not-emotion, vie for relevance in a landscape of shifting circumstance. So frequently at odds with the gamut of fossilized expectation, they ride their host into continual turmoil – and dread.